Milestone

I'm beginning to think that maybe I can do this!! I have reached my 20 pounds lost milestone. It is getting easier for me to not obsess and think about food all the time. I have even done pretty good with having yummy things around. I went to Great Harvest Bread to get some yumminess for the kids for lunch and I have been really good. Only two small slices of pumpkin bread (not on the same day). I even went to lunch bunch yesterday and had pizza and salad. I ate my salad with dressing on the side and just dipped my fork into it before each bite. I hardly made a dent in the dressing. I had one piece of pizza and brought the rest home for the family to enjoy!!

I can fit into some of my size smaller clothes. I feel skinnier. I still wake up everyday though and think I'll have gained all the weight back. I am on that treadmill everyday! I think it keeps me at a more consistent pace and it seemed to help take off more weight than walking in the mornings. I tried to add some weight lifting, but with my wrist problems, it just killed me to do even the small 5 pound weights. I don't know what I'm going to do about toning. It needs to be done, but I just haven't figured out how yet. I am ahead on the Biggest Loser contest. I don't want the money, just the satisfaction of having completed a task set before me and reaping the benefits of my discipline. I so want to get below 200. It will be a glorious day of celebration for me!!!

Why, Why, Why?

I am so sore. Just from walking. It is just making my knees hurt. Everyday, I want to talk myself out of walking. But so far, I've walked. I have a terrible cold, but I still walked. AND, I'll get half way through my walk and have to MAKE myself walk the last half instead of turning and going home. But, I'm still losing. I am at 223.2 I have lost almost every week. Now, my eating comes and goes. In the last two days I have had probably 7 rice krispy treats. I just can't stop myself. They just can't be around. Yesterday was hard, I worked at Schofield library from 10:30-12:30 and came home starving. There was no lettuce for salad, so I made myself a PBJ sandwich. NOT a good choice. 130 calories in the bread and 190 calories in 2 TBS pb. But I ate it and two rice krispy treats anyway. Then Tanner and I went to the girls HS volleyball game and then ran to the church to watch Taz play dodgeball and left a little early (but still about 6:30) and stopped at Mc Donalds. I got a hot fudge sundae and a double cheese burger. Tanner and Cynj got a 50 piece nugget and I had 5 nuggets and a RK treat!! AGGGG. Why, why, why??? I don't understand how skinny people do it. It is just such a struggle for me. But, I should look on the bright side, most days I'm good. And I determined to conquer this weight thing. I just want to see under 200!!

Here we go:

I have decided that now is the time to get healthy. I want to be around along time for my kids. I want to lead a productive life and feel active and ready for what life throws at me. I talked Ky, Kris and Talon into starting a Biggest Loser contest with me. It will and has motivated me to get going. In 2005, I lost about 50 pounds, it felt great, but I never got below about 214. I want to get below 200 pounds. I would love to be at the weight I was even when I got married. Around 185. Eventually, I'd like to be at an even healthier weight. But for now, small goals, small goals!! So as of now, my goal is to make it to the 200 mark.

July 29, I returned from a wonderful summer in Oregon, I was leary to weigh myself, but when I stepped on the scale, I knew it would be depressing. I was right 240 pounds!! I'd gained back 25 pounds since my initial weight loss. At my last Dr. visit, I had blood work done and my cholesterol was high. I had a fasting blood sugar of 98, not to bad, but getting to the "watch" level. I made an appointment to see them after I got back from Oregon. I didn't want to go, so I cancelled the appointment and gave myself to the end of the year to do something about my weight. I must take off some pounds. I don't want to go on medication, and I don't want to develop anything worse. NOW IS THE TIME!! Plus, my NY's goal from Jan. 2010 was to lose 30 pounds and I so want to accomplish that by Jan. 1 2011. So, I am determined and want to blog my feelings in hopes that it will help me through the tough times. Wish me luck, but I know with God's help: All things are possible!! I will do this.