Milestone

I'm beginning to think that maybe I can do this!! I have reached my 20 pounds lost milestone. It is getting easier for me to not obsess and think about food all the time. I have even done pretty good with having yummy things around. I went to Great Harvest Bread to get some yumminess for the kids for lunch and I have been really good. Only two small slices of pumpkin bread (not on the same day). I even went to lunch bunch yesterday and had pizza and salad. I ate my salad with dressing on the side and just dipped my fork into it before each bite. I hardly made a dent in the dressing. I had one piece of pizza and brought the rest home for the family to enjoy!!

I can fit into some of my size smaller clothes. I feel skinnier. I still wake up everyday though and think I'll have gained all the weight back. I am on that treadmill everyday! I think it keeps me at a more consistent pace and it seemed to help take off more weight than walking in the mornings. I tried to add some weight lifting, but with my wrist problems, it just killed me to do even the small 5 pound weights. I don't know what I'm going to do about toning. It needs to be done, but I just haven't figured out how yet. I am ahead on the Biggest Loser contest. I don't want the money, just the satisfaction of having completed a task set before me and reaping the benefits of my discipline. I so want to get below 200. It will be a glorious day of celebration for me!!!

Why, Why, Why?

I am so sore. Just from walking. It is just making my knees hurt. Everyday, I want to talk myself out of walking. But so far, I've walked. I have a terrible cold, but I still walked. AND, I'll get half way through my walk and have to MAKE myself walk the last half instead of turning and going home. But, I'm still losing. I am at 223.2 I have lost almost every week. Now, my eating comes and goes. In the last two days I have had probably 7 rice krispy treats. I just can't stop myself. They just can't be around. Yesterday was hard, I worked at Schofield library from 10:30-12:30 and came home starving. There was no lettuce for salad, so I made myself a PBJ sandwich. NOT a good choice. 130 calories in the bread and 190 calories in 2 TBS pb. But I ate it and two rice krispy treats anyway. Then Tanner and I went to the girls HS volleyball game and then ran to the church to watch Taz play dodgeball and left a little early (but still about 6:30) and stopped at Mc Donalds. I got a hot fudge sundae and a double cheese burger. Tanner and Cynj got a 50 piece nugget and I had 5 nuggets and a RK treat!! AGGGG. Why, why, why??? I don't understand how skinny people do it. It is just such a struggle for me. But, I should look on the bright side, most days I'm good. And I determined to conquer this weight thing. I just want to see under 200!!